And Then I Met Someone in a Cult

Nicola and I sat down on bench to eat a couple sushi rolls after a quick shopping spree for her birthday. And I noticed there was a farmers’ market happening but didn’t think that much of it. We were done—not only shopping but just physcially—it was hot and in the late afternoon on a school day. And then all of a sudden this man appeared from the market with some cold green drinks to sample. We were right by his booth so I just thought, How nice! We took them and chatted about the ingredients. The second question out of his mouth was, “Where are you from?” which to be honest is getting a little old. (But I think that’s just cause everyone and their mother seems to lead with this and I think there are 1 million other interesting things to talk about other than my accent.)

Anyhoooo, turns out he used to live in the mountains in Colorado. Small world. We chit-chat and I buy a pint of the green juice because a) it’s seriously delicious (how are there so many vegetables in there?) and b) he was so friendly and it felt right. Everything was fine and we got up to leave and then he handed me a piece of paper that talked about his farm and he says, “In case you ever want to come visit.” And I thought, Wow, that’s friendly, but also a little MUCH, I just bought some juice after all and probably am not that interested in renting a car to drive 2 hours to see where it was grown & bottled. But yeah, ok, sure, I’ll think about it.

And then he said his name and his daughter’s as I was walking away as if I was really going to go to the farm and ask for them. And then something clicked that maybe this was not good-friendly, but that a-little-over-the-top-friendly, where the hair on the back of your neck perks up and you realize things might not be as they seem. (Did anyone ever read that book The Gift of Fear? It talks about this kind of intuition.) So I scanned the card and saw a line about joining them for a dinner by candlelight and circle dancing and I thought, OMG, IS THIS A CULT?!

Second thought: They WERE wearing super outdated clothes.

Third thought: He did mention homeschooling.

Fourth thought: What a coincidence. I just started watching a Netflix series about a cult.

I got home and spewed about it to Tim (who seriously could have cared less) and then I googled it and the second line that popped up in the search bar was the name of the farm + CULT. Oh dear. I read on. It’s true.

The man also passed along a couple of coupons for the farm’s deli and on the bottom it reads, “Good for any location around the Earth.” Oddly enough, during my research, I found there is one of those cafes in Boulder. What are the chances! Ha. Or maybe it’s a sign?! (just kidding)

I tried to convince Tim we should drive 2 hours to eat and see if we get converted but so far no dice. Also, I would make the world’s worst cult member. For sure. Just picture that for a second. That’s way too much sharing and work and lack of personal space for me.

Anyway, you know, just your average afternoon in Sydney.

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April 14, 2018 at 10:27 am

Interesting…I think!

Sean Beste
April 19, 2018 at 9:49 am

Literally; the ol’ bait and switch… Was there a van (without windows) nearby? Perhaps with a Jolly Rancher bumper sticker? YIKES! I concur, you’re too headstrong for a cult. It just wouldn’t work out.

Sean Beste
April 19, 2018 at 9:55 am

I almost forgot… The green juice looks eerily similar to Bolthouse Farms’ Green Goodness. I’m not sure they distribute in Australia, but perhaps they do?

April 21, 2018 at 8:46 pm

HA HA HA Sean, your comments are cracking me up!!

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